Film - The Farewell

Based on an actual lie

If you had cancer, would you like to know?

This is the story of a Chinese family where the Grandmother has cancer and her whole family are keeping this truth from her. The explanation is that what kills people perhaps sooner than later is the heartache and stress of knowing rather than cancer itself. 

This makes a certain sense to me, I’ve often thought (usually when I go in for the horrid invasive testing) that maybe I’d rather not know and keep living my life to the full without having the extra burden. However, it depends on circumstances and everyone is different.

Billi was born in China but raised in New York where her parents moved a quarter of a century ago. We see the situation through her eyes and then gain perspective by hearing from her dad and also her uncle, who went to live in Japan instead.

They tell Billi life doesn't belong just to you, a person’s life is part of the whole family. Not telling the person takes the burden of worrying about cancer from the loved one this way. Billi is looking to strike the balance between the American way of bearing all to everyone that will listen to the more restrained, private Chinese way.

And all of the sideways sad glances are is happening with the backdrop of everyone getting ready for a hastily organised family wedding in a rouse to get everyone together without arousing suspicions. Billi’s cousin is marrying a Japanese women who also doesn’t speak Mandarin but smiles constantly and beautifully and I’m not sure she knows what’s going on half the time.

I couldn’t help but wonder, they must figure it out at some point, after all, they would have done the same thing with a family member? The family didn’t want Billi, who regularly talks to her Nai Nai, to go as they think she will easily give the secret away with just one look at her downcast face. She goes anyway.

I love all the family scenes especially when they’re all together and the viewer is left wondering which one is going to crack. Every character is explored and gives us a further insight into their culture. A standout is Billi getting some sort of martial art lessons from her grey-haired Grandma who insists she’s still fit as she can walk up and down her stairs. Nai Nai affectionately keeps calling Billi what translates as ‘stupid child’ which adds to the constant warmth and humour through this gentle soulful film.

Oh, and I can’t listen to any Without You without hearing this version now.
8½/10